911 is your friend.

The goat, not so much. (She bites, for one).

She's cute and furry, but isn't good for much if you screw up. If the shit hits the fan, and drinking does some serious damage, no goat's going to save your ass. So, just for the record – if something like what you see in the video goes down at a party you're at? You might want to think of calling 911 instead of calling for a goat. Did we really have to actually say that? Yes, we did.

Your very own
goat autograph!

She may not be a goat that fixes people's injuries, but she plays one on TV. So even if she isn't famous for doing something useful, she's famous nonetheless. Kinda like Paris Hilton. Print off your personalized autograph from the goat, then wave it around in your friends' faces and make them jealous. Until they print their own. It is free, after all.

Think the goat
might not come
through for you?

Good thinking. Your chance of injury goes up dramatically if you drink, but the chance of some goat coming to save your sorry ass is low. Very low. Like, zero, really. There's a very good chance, though, that a human being could help. Check out the info below to learn some stuff about alcohol, its effects, how it can hurt you, and most importantly, how you can avoid getting hurt.

Tell the world you're
a fan of not being
mangled to death
after drinking.

It's the perfect gift for yourself or anyone who knows that only you can keep yourself safe and sound. This pin screams, "I'm no raving lunatic!", and, "I enjoy living life with all my limbs!" Whether you're heading to a party or just out with friends, wear it and you wear your sanity on your sleeve. Or your chest. Or your crotch. Or wherever you choose to stick it. (Available at cost--no profit is being made.)

The goat's
on Facebook!

What's on the "magic" goat's mind right now? A surprising amount, considering that she's a goat. See for yourself. Maybe even make her your friend, if the mood should strike you. (You probably already have some stranger friends than this, so don't worry about what people will think.)

Pet the goat! Make a friend for life.

She does not enjoy being worshipped as some kind of royal ruminant (look it up). She does, however, enjoy being petted and rubbed. Place your cursor over the image of the goat, and stroke her silken coat. If you hit just the right spot, you'll be rewarded with a bleat of pleasure!

Buy your very own
bag of "magic"
goat turds!

She doesn't have super powers. Not a single one. So she's never going to step in if you drink and get silly. But what she does have is surprisingly delicious droppings. Almost magically delicious. Taste for yourself.